Forgotten
by Nagini the Moon Goddess
Summary: No one is immortal, save few. No one is immune. It was bound to happen, but he wasn't expecting it to be of this degree. No, not to her. Just not to her. So this is mortality...  AxI  just a normal master-servant relationship. T for swears.
1. Memories

_Author's note: _I decided to do a small ficlet until my writer's block passes. So much to do and I have yet to update my other stories. This one will be short and brief, four or five chapters perhaps. Not really a pairing for this, I guess it could be labelled mild AxI and AxS but romance is not what i am aiming for. I've also been wondering how I would fare in other genres and this is my first try lol.

Any spelling errors, minor or not, are accidental. I've re-checked just to be sure but even my knowledge of the English lnguage isn't that good. So if you do detect some errors, don't hesitate to tell me in your reviews. Good and bad commentary is always welcome. ^_^

I do not own Hellsing or its' characters and make no profit from these stories whatsoever.

* * *

She was tired, so tired. She didn't understand why. But her eyes refused to stay shut, she didn't want to rest. Looking around from her bed, she stared at the room she was in. It seemed vaguely familiar. Light poured in from the tall, elegant French windows on her left. The breeze made the light blue curtains dance. The room was, all in all, rather enormous and very tasteful. Not crowded by furniture and yet not too bare either.

There were a few lovely pieces of shining polished wood; an maple armoire, a dressing table, two square bedside tables on either side of the bed she resided in and a large, antique winged bookcase filled from top to bottom with many books. She also noticed that, if she leaned forwards enough, she could spot the top of a lovely wooden chest at the foot of her bed. Probably an antique too.

A knock sounded at the hard oak door far to her right.

She answered uncertainly, "C-come in." and an elderly man came bustling through the door, carrying a silver tray and a warm smile. The strong, delicious scent of tea wafted through the air, filling her nose delightfully. She glanced at the old man, now beside her bed setting the tray down on one of the bedside tables. He gingerly poured the sweet-smelling tea from a little teapot into a lovely porcelain cup.

She didn't understand this ritual of his. Why was he serving her tea? She was a stranger to him, wasn't she? And yet, here her brows knitted together in deep thought, even he seemed familiar as well. How odd. His crisp black vest, his prim posture. His eyes, so merry, creased with wrinkles. How did she know him?

Still watching him, she cocked her head to the side. He seemed so fragile though, his skin white as paper, his breath rattled in his throat from slight exhaustion. From the height of the windows and the view from outside, she'd guess she was on the second floor. His hands were knotted, worn and boney. But as they handed her the cup of steaming tea, they were enviously steady, not a tremble.

Even his hair was thinned a little, receding from the academic forehead, making it seem wider. His hair was pulled into a dignified and rather charming ponytail. It really suited him. Her eyes noted the salt and pepper grey of his hair still held streaks of rebelling black, and though it was thinned around his forehead, the rest of it seemed quite thick and had a very healthy shine.

"Here you are, I've brought your favourite, Sir Integra." He told her, still holding that warm smile. She blinked at him. He had called her 'Sir Integra'. Was that her name? It did sound right to her in her mind. He must've noticed her puzzled gaze and chuckled.

"Yes, that is your name." He said, still smiling. Then he pointed to himself as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed. "I am Walter, your retainer." He was still chuckling but it sounded a bit strained this time.

"Walter?" Yes, that sounded familiar too, felt so right as she said it. The man, Walter, nodded. He resumed pouring himself a cup of tea as well.

"Yes, I came into your service at age 14."

"I see."

Yes, she recalled something, but it was vague. A sharp pain throbbed at her temple and she jumped, massaging it with her free hand. Walter immediately set his cup aside and patted her back soothingly.

"It's alright if you cannot remember, I won't take offence." He chirped and she vaguely thought how eerie his good mood was.

A long passed between them. Both used the silence to calmly sip their tea, though she needed constant help. Her hands shook so hard that very little tea was left in her cup, and was instead spilled down her front, staining her pyjama top. She felt a bit ashamed but Walter paid no attention to it. He merely grabbed the linen napkin he had brought with the tray, cleaned up the liquid and them put it back, quick as a blink.

"I shall leave you to rest now." Walter said quietly and his hand gently petted hers. It was beyond servant-master relationship, she concluded. Were they close friends, lovers perhaps? She made a grimace when she thought that. Close friends sounded more at home then lovers, somehow she couldn't imagine being so intimate with this man.

A brief glimpse of a memory flashed through her mind. She, behind a desk, was signing some papers and Walter stood at her side. He wasn't as old as he was at present but at least his hair was a beautiful, shining midnight black. A monocle gleamed on his left eye.

"Walter." She whispered, watching him leave with bleak eyes. The butler merely smiled but a flash of pain shot across his face. "Do not worry, Sir Integra, I am here. Now sleep." And he shut the door softly. She stared at that door for a while, wondering if he would reappear again with his large smile. but he didn't. She wasn't sure what time it was but it felt too early for sleep. Unfortunately her body disagreed with her reasoning and she found herself yawining, suddenly feeling exhausted. Soon, she let her head fall against the pillows and sleep overtake her mind.

_If only she could remember_, was her last thought before darkness came in.

* * *

This was Integra's point of view. More shall be explained in the next chapters. I hope you found it intriguing. I'm uploading all the chapters at once since I've now got the time. I may also continue chapters for _Mommy Seras And Daddy Alucard _and _The Darkest Hour. _Contemplating it, actually but who knows? If I hit the right note, maybe I'll update one of those as well.

Ta-chan*_*


	2. Sorrow for An Old Friend

He closed the door and heaved a large sigh. His heart had twisted once he saw that lost look on her face. She had gone again. Her condition was worsening and it was killing him. Walter leaned heavily against Integra's bedroom door.

His lungs felt constricted, he couldn't breathe. He never thought this would happen to her. That woman he had known for so long. Strong, independent and stubborn to boot. A true leader. She was now turned into this shriveling, withering flower. It hurt his sick heart very much.

Taking a few deep breaths to regain composure, Walter lifted himself from the door, straightened his tie, smoothed his vest and walked on with his head held high. Going along the corridor he made his way towards his own office.

During his finer days, he was the source of information for their operations. Nothing happened without him not knowing about it. Now since the organization was slowly failing, he barely had any use for it.

Walter entered the room and headed straight for the black telephone. He should inform Dr. Macey immediately. She had been fine for weeks until today. Honestly, it frightened him.

"Hello?" A fine, strong and young male voice answered after the first few rings. In the beginning, Walter hadn't really trusted the American doctor but because Integra's progress had been going so well, he began to have fewer doubts. But now...

"Afternoon, doctor. It's Walter Dolnez."

"Ah, Walter." Dr. Macey replied, sounding a bit more relaxed. "How are you, is everything alright?"

If he hadn't noticed how hard he was gripping the phone, he might have even broken it. He was still strong for his age. Walter sighed into the phone. "No. I am afraid Sir Integra has relapsed. She didn't recognize me when I came to give her her tea."

"Really? But she was making such promising progress these past few weeks–"

"Yes." Walter clenched his teeth. He really did not like small-talk. "I know I should not be calling you for every little relapse but I had concluded this was rather serious."

"Of course of course." The young doctor agreed hurriedly. Walter could hear some rustling noises in the background. "I will be over in a flash."

"Thank you. Good bye sir." Walter replaced the phone back into its' cradle and sat down at his desk. He remembered the day this all started rather vividly, as if it had only happened yesterday.

15 years ago, October 12th

What passed for relatively normal inside the Hellsing grounds and manor had a very wide range of explanations. But to others outside their little world, the Hellsing family was very rich, influenceal but a little crazy. Not that this bothered anyone at Hellsing, oh no, they preferred the insanities that their jobs offered them. Old army dogs looking for that one last epic battle to go down in glory and young, foolish men who thought monsters only existed in fairytales and in some very twisted, perverse Japanese anime.

So it was one of those missions, the customary 'Search and destroy'. The soldiers were all cramped inside one of the briefing rooms, waiting. They laughed and cursed and behaved as if they weren't fighting some non-existent creature, a blood-sucking being that could kill them without a spare thought. No, they were ignoring this crucial fact, not that it mattered.

Once he strolled through that door, most went quiet. Walter adjusted his monocle and cleared his throat.

He told them the basics of what they needed to know, where to find the 'freak' and his ghouls. He informed them about the 'freak' as well. A few characteristics, how crazy this one would get. Of course, he had been 'man-made', seduced by the thought of immortality and power like most of them were.

Smooth, clean, no attention whatsoever must be drawn to them. Then that sweet young girl Alucard had turned into a vampire, had taken over with the tactical plans. Ah, Police Girl. Even though she had been freed of Alucard's servitude a few years back, she stayed behind and took on her job with an animosity rather frightening and also relieving.

So Walter bowed his head and waited back for her curt nod of acknowledgment before exiting that awfully cramped room. He went straight to Integra.

A light rap of his knuckles on the grand doors of her large office was greeted with a barking, strong command of "Come in," and he pushed the doors open.

She was hunched over some forms that needed to be signed. New equipment, new recruits, bills, pleas, reports, the list would go on if he knew what else was on that desk. She was rubbing her temples, a sign of a headache.

"Would you like an aspirin, Sir?"

She continued to rub her temples, ran her fingers through her hair and looked up. For a moment her eyes seemed to widen as if she had forgotten he was there, but the emotion disappeared so quickly from her face that Walter wasn't entirely sure if it was only his imagination.

But a small seed of suspicion had been growing for several days now. She had been acting strangely for several weeks now, unable to remember orders she gave a few hours before, even becoming way more aggressive than usual with some of her employees. And her headaches have become more frequent as well.

"Walter." It was more of a statement. One hand still on her forehead, she motioned for him to come closer with her other hand. He obeyed.

"Would you like an aspirin, Sir Integra?" He repeated his question, now watching her closely for any hint of, well, anything. But this time, Integra shook her head at him, her hair falling about her like ribbons of pale gold dancing in a summer's breeze. "No, thank you Walter." She murmured.

She sighed heavily and fixed her glacial eyes at him. "Has the briefing started?"

Walter nodded the affirmative. "Yes, sir. I've given them the information they need and also supplied a copy of it to Miss Victoria."

Integra looked mildly surprised, even angry. "Why is Victoria on this mission? I thought I told her to stay here."

This had taken him aback. Walter hastily cleared his throat and tried to cover up his falter. "No, sir. You've appointed Miss Victoria squad leader for this mission. It's in Cheddar Village and she does know the terrain from before." His sentence died away at the last word. Once Seras had heard there was another attack on Cheddar village, she had practically begged to be on the team.

Walter had been present, watching the young vampire argue vigorously for the mission. She vaguely reminded him of a young school boy acting tough after being beaten by a bully, yelling 'Lemme at 'im, lemme at 'im!" while being held back by his friends.

She really wanted to be the one saving lives this time, like Alucard had saved hers so many years ago. He only hoped she wouldn't follow in her master's footsteps and bring someone back.

"Yes, I remember now. Do forgive me Walter, it's these headaches I'm getting as of late. It's probably just stress." Here she rolled her icy blue eyes, "Heaven only knows how much stress I get from dealing with that immortal imbecile." She muttered, her head diving between her hands once more.

Walter chuckled and nodded. "Then I would suggest some sleep."

"Nonsense, Walter. It's barely even 4 o' clock! I will not permit myself to sleeping in the afternoon."

"Naturally, sir. It was merely a suggestion after all."

As the day slowly gave way to evening, Integra's headaches got worse. She had called Walter up several times and had asked where Miss Victoria was. In the end, Walter had forced her into the doctor's office. After the doctor had run some preliminary tests, he summoned Walter out of the examination room. The butler left reluctantly, feeling Integra's cold glaring eyes searing into his back, even after he shut the door.

"I'm afraid it isn't good Walter." The Hellsing physician murmured, staring at his clipboard and leafing through some of the pages. "She's showing early signs of dementia."

"What?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Her headaches, the moodiness, her bad temper. They're all classic signs of Alzheimer."

"But she's been like that for years!"

"Yes but now her charming deposition has worsened. Does she snap at everyone for even looking at her the wrong way? Or just from speaking in a tone she didn't approve? Even the most minor thing would set her off in a rage. It's not her normal self, Walter."

"Good Heavens." Walter muttered and wobbled over to the nearest chair. Usually, he would have taken any news with an indifference and elegance that he always possessed. But this, this was something he hadn't anticipated. Integra and he were very close, he considered her like a daughter, a sister. She was his family and he was hers. Christ, he practically raised her.

His breathing became shallow, he was panting, out of breath. A hand patted his shoulder in reassurance.

"I know this is quite a shock to you but she is almost 60. Normally, stress isn't even considered a cause for this disease but in her case," The doctor glanced at the door, where he knew Sir Integra would be pacing impatiently, "it just might be."

"What will happen?"

The doctor sighed. Now came the really heavy stuff. He just hoped Walter could handle it. "You said she's been forgetting things lately, like where she put her glasses or her cigars."

Walter nodded feebly and the doctor continued. "Well her memory will get worse during the years. This is just the first stage. Soon she will forget memories from her past and in the end, she won't even be able to recognize anyone, not even you."

The doctor sighed and turned back to leafing through the pages of her test results. "In the later stages, she'll become delusional, have hallucinations, disoriented, confused. She won't be able to do normal things, like eat or speak, or walk or write. She'll lose motor control over her body. She'll be bedridden and she'll need round-the-clock care through all her stages."

Poor bloke. He's never seen Walter like this. The old butler was always so detached, like a soldier. The horrors he had probably seen it wasn't a big surprise. But now, the man was on the brink of sobbing. He knew he and Sir Hellsing were close but even so, he never thought her condition would affect him so much.

"I've got a friend, a neurologist who might help. He could slow the process done, there are ways of keeping the last stages of Alzheimer's away for a long time. I'm positive he'd be more than pleased to help. Shall I give him a call?"

Walter just stared at the door in front of him where Integra was and wondering in what way was he supposed to tell her this awful news. He barely heard the doctor's voice but managed another shaky nod. Any help would be preferable. If it would let her keep her sanity and her memory for a bit longer, then he would welcome it with open arms.


	3. Lost And Found

A/N: for the delay my apologies. I have just recently moved from one continent to another and I still haven't settled in. chapters for my other stories; Darkest Hour, and Mommy Seras And Daddy Alucard will be up very soon. I am still working on them and since my old laptop had decided to die completely and take all my previously finished chapters to its' grave I have to start all over again, which I can tell you is not really a pleasant thing for me and my mind right now. But I have managed to upload this chapter and I'm hoping along with the res of you that this means I am slowly getting back on track ^_^ enjoy this incredibly angsty story. the reason it's so morbid and depressing is a result of my grandfather (who had been a huge and major influence on my creativity and my upbringing, he was like a second father to me) passing away and because I was tired for once of writing cheerful happy happy stories. In these kind of stories, we tend to forget that most of the cast is human and yet we make them seem invincible and untouchable just like Seras and Alucard. well I say enough to cliche of someone always swooping to save the day, let's give crying and tears a try.

Disclaimer: I clearly do not own Hellsing or any of its' characters. If I did we'd all be vampires by now ^_^

* * *

"Scout the area, she couldn't have gone far."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Bruce went in to check on her and she was gone."

"Victoria!"

Her head snapped to the direction of the call. Seras saw a man trying to flag her attention. He didn't get to blink when she suddenly appeared beside him. He jerked back a little, startled. "I can never get used to that."

"I can see that." Seras said with a snort. "So what is it? Did you find her, Sebastian?"

"She's in the garden shed."

"The shed?"

Sebastian grabbed her hand and led her to the garden shed which was located behind the barracks. Seras immediately ran over to the little house-like shed and pulled the wooden doors back. There was Sir Integra, huddled in a corner with two large bags of soil. She was hugging her knees, rocking back and forth. She flinched at the loud noise and when Sebastian's flashlight was upon her, she let out a yelp, like a wounded dog.

Seras put a hand on top of his and gently made him lower the flashlight. "Right, I forgot you don't need that." He whispered and tried to laugh but Seras wasn't listening.

Sir Integra was shivering. One of the bags was punctured, there was soil spilling out everywhere. She was wiggling her toes in a pile of the dirt, breathing heavily, her hands clutching her head. She looked so pitiful, not even human. Seras could hear Integra's heart beating wildly, she could smell the fear and her confusion. The blonde vampire took a step inside, taking it very slow so she wouldn't frighten the Hellsing leader.

"Sir Integra." She spoke softly as she edged nearer. Integra didn't answer but now Seras could hear quiet whimpering and a few sniffles.

Integra's head shot up and stared blankly at the young blonde immortal. Her face was dirty and dusty, there were tear streaks on her face.

"Who are you?" She whispered, staring at her with wide blue eyes. Seras stretched out her hand. "I'm here to help, sir Integra." Seras spoke in a soft, soothing voice. The Hellsing blonde cocked her head to the side and blinked.

"Help? Why would I…." Integra trailed off, looking puzzled. Then her eyes narrowed still staring into Seras's red irises. The vampire froze, sensing hesitation from the older woman. Suddenly Integra began wailing and screaming. "Red eyes! Red eyes!"

Seras got confused. Her red eyes frightened Integra? As she closed them she didn't see Integra pick something up. She was concentrating on changing her eye color back to her previous sky blue. But just as she opened them she saw something hurtling towards her.

Seras jumped back as Integra lashed out, swinging a flower pot at the vampire with all her might. Seras easily dodged and the pot shattered with a thundering _crack! _against the wall. Dirt spewed from it, covering the reminder of the clean floor. Integra had grabbed another pot and was holding it threateningly over her head, ready to chuck it again. So Seras stayed back, cautious of the weapon in the human's hand. The vampire girl waved her hand at Sebastian, who was getting ready to tackle the poor old thing if need be.

"Go get Walter and Dr. Macey. Be quick." Seras whispered, her eyes never leaving Sir Integra even as she spoke to her soldier.

Sebastian just nodded "Yes ma'am!" He said and disappeared from her sights. Now it was just the two of them alone in the shed.

"Who are you?" Integra croaked, she looked just about ready to cry. "Where am I?"

"You are Integra Wingates Hellsing, leader of this organization and part of the Protestant Knights of the Round Table. You are my boss and you are my friend." Seras said, keeping her voice low and calm.

"And I am Seras Victoria. I am Police Girl."

That seemed to have triggered a memory for Integra's face softened. "Police Girl?"

Seras let out a small breath of relief. "Yes, that's me."

"I …. I…"

"Come to me, Sir Integra. Come here."

Integra stared at her some more then slowly set the pot back down on the ground. She took a few steps forwards, her feet dragging against the dirt on the floor. Seras outstretched her hand again, Integra's was within reach. As she slowly moved forwards, Integra let herself grab Seras's hand and the moment the vampire felt her grip, she pulled her into an embrace. Integra began sobbing and Seras hugged her tighter. She stroked her tangled blonde hair and spoke soft, reassuring words into her ears, soothing her and calming her down.

Integra's own bone-white hands gripped at Seras's shirt so tightly that the old woman managed to poke a few holes with her nails. She kept whimpering and shaking, like a child woken up by a nightmare. She was so scared. Seras buried her nose into her wiry tresses, trying to bloke out the scent of human fear from her nostrils and instead inhaled the smell of sweet perfume and flowers from Integra's shampooed hair.

Seras remembered that terrible day vividly. It was forever burned into her immortal mind.

13 years ago, August 3rd

She had been gone for three years. She needed to escape and had snuck out one night and hopped on the first train going, well, anywhere. It had been only a year after her freedom as a vampire then. Seras had finally drunk some of Master's blood—in the midst of reminiscing she laughed to herself. She still called him Master, even though he is not that anymore. –It was one year after that she decided to go away. To put it simply, Police Girl had run away from home.

Seras had visited Ireland and Greece on a whim, she had always wanted to see something exotic and different, and far away from all the troubles here in good ol' jolly London. Seras had even gone to Romania to see if it really was the Land Of Vampires. Total cliché, she was aware of it but Seras couldn't resist the urge.

Of course it was a bogus rumor. She had met so few of them there she was almost disappointed, even though the thought of mingling with her own kin did still scare her. She had gone to Bucharest, Romania's capital and oh, how breath-taking it was! The streets, the buildings, the air, the fields! It was the most beautiful country she had ever seen! It was so alive with energy that it had made her skin crackle with excitement.

But Police Girl missed home. She missed Master and Walter. Well she had made sure to write to Walter, telling him stories of the places she had visited. Seras was sure Master Alucard already knew her plans and dutifully ignored them, like he had everything else. She sighed; Seras realized that she even missed Sir Integra. But then her face suddenly paled. Oh, Sir Integra! That Dragon Lady would have her head rolling for this, Seras knew for a fact. Her hand automatically seized her throat and she gulped nervously. The shit is going to hit the fan.

But even then she didn't know how true that was.

When the vampire girl opened the front doors, silence greeted her. The entrance hall was empty and soundless. Not a mouse scurried or a fly zoomed. Seras wondered why it was so as she stepped over the threshold. As she walked up the stairs, Seras let her red eyes, now keener and sharper for detail, wander. Not only did the mansion seem empty, it looked…abandoned. A horrifying thought suddenly struck her. Was Walter still alive? What happened to the staff?

Gosh, she knew he was old and very human but somehow he always portrayed himself as immortal in her mind, she never let herself think that he was actually capable of dying. Her steps quickened as she made her way to Integra's office.

Reaching the large double doors, she suddenly stopped dead (no pun intended) and stared. What would she say? Seras could feel a little bit of excitement mix with her anticipation. She had missed everyone so, even Master with his annoying little habits. Well, here she smiled and snorted, 'little' being an understatement. Sucking in a breath she knocked and waited. And waited. She knocked again, this time she rapped her knuckles harder against the wood, just to make sure Integra heard her. It was a lucky thing she really didn't need to breathe or she would have suffocated already.

"Sir Integra?" Seras called out meekly. Still no answer. Seras shrugged, guess she wasn't in the office then. But that was so odd. She never left the office; it was like her second bedroom. So the young vampire turned on her heel and walked briskly back down the hallway and the stairs into the kitchen.

Flinging her bag into an empty chair, she made a beeline for the supply fridge. Being abroad had helped like drinking blood. She had no choice, there wasn't a supply fridge anywhere on the streets and there were no Walters or Integras or even Alucards to force her to drink. She had starved herself the first five days in Greece. She had almost died.

But she had given in and attacked a stray dog. It had been looking for food, scrounging around in the trash. She never heard it yelp when she bit into its' soft, furry neck. After being relieved of some of the hunger, she was horrified. Police Girl was an avid lover of animals; especially dogs! She felt so horrid that she cried for the next night. After running out of money for room and board the young blonde immortal had slept at the base of the Pindus Mountain. It was there that she realized drinking blood to sustain her life became clearer.

A pack of wolves had just caught a deer in their hunt. Their snouts and beautiful fur were bloody. They growled and snapped their bloody fangs at each other, acting feral the way animals would. She watched them (in her own hell hound form) from afar. Even though Seras felt sick to her stomach, watching as the wolves tore the deer's body limb from limb, strips of raw meat dangled from their jaws. There were scuffles, following the pack order. Some fur was lost, some young wolves put in their place.

And as Seras watched she began to understand. It was just the food chain. Balance. There were mother wolves getting their cubs food, old wolves who have outlived their glory days laid quietly a little ways from the rest of the feeding frenzy, happily content with chewing a bone with some meat on it which no other wolf wanted. It suddenly seemed so serene and so normal.

Humans are deer to the vampire, although it wasn't necessary to kill them, but the blood would help her get stronger, more focused, able to protect better (Which is what everyone had been saying the entire time). So the next evening she trekked to the foot of the mountain, where goats and sheep grazed in the summer in the traditional way. She met a young shepherd watching over his flock. He wasn't much to look at but was decent enough. Seras pretended to be cold and lost, tricking the boy to come closer and when he did, the blonde former Police officer struck.

She had bitten him somewhere unnoticed and hadn't drunk too much. She felt satisfied, refreshed and she never complained against drinking blood anymore.

Remembering the lovely starry nights at the Pindus Mountains had left Seras stuck in thought and daydreams, which was foolish of her. She never saw the pan coming her way.

_Thwack!_

Seras reared backwards, stumbling clumsily into the kitchen counters. Her head hurt like a bitch and the room wouldn't stop spinning and everything was doubled.

"Thief! Thief!" a voice shrieked at her. This time Seras saw the dark shape of the pan coming towards her head again and she spun away. The pan hit the edge of the counters with a loud bang.

"Hey wait wait!" Seras yelled back, flinging her arms up to shield her head from any other oncoming pan attacks. "I'm no thief! Bloody Hell!"

"Thief! WALTER!" The voice bellowed once more. Seras's vision was starting to come back and she could make out the face of her attacker. It was a woman with round glasses and she looked very pissed off. And it was that expression that made her so familiar. Seras squinted, then realizing who it was, she was about to open her mouth to speak when Walter and a few men came skidding into the kitchen in a flurry of stampeding feet and cocked hand guns.

"Sir Hellsing! There you are, you had us worried—" Walter stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the young vampire holding the top of her head gingerly, gazing at everyone with those big, confused red eyes that could melt hearts.

"Victoria?"

"Walter!" Seras chirped happily, running into the old man's arms and hugged him tightly. He began patting her back, father-like at first but then Seras noticed that it grew more urgent until he was actually hitting her back quite harshly. When she did finally let him go, he collapsed onto the nearest chair, coughing and wheezing. Seras just felt incredibly sheepish, she hadn't realized she was actually smothering the old butler.

"Walter?"

"Sir Integra…" Said Walter, still panting slightly from the heart-warming-turned-near-death-experience. He gestured towards Seras as he caught his breath. "This is no burglar, Sir."

"But I saw her rifling through our fridge! The cheek of you!" Integra added, jabbing the frying pan at Seras, which the vampire quickly sidled out of reach from. She knew Integra would be mad at her leaving without permission but this was not exactly the reaction she had in mind.

The two women were staring each other down. Integra's weapon of choice was still hostilely raised, waiting for the opportune moment to strike the poor vampire once more on her head. Like it wasn't empty enough already. Seras broke the staring contest and glared instead at the ceiling. She wasn't sure why she just called herself an idiot. But she took in the appearance of the Hellsing woman and was puzzled.

Her hair, now longer than it ever had been was disheveled, falling about her form in a wavy mess. It was cared for but it was not polished like Integra usually was. Her platinum hair had lightened in color, now more white than blonde. Her face, though wild with fear and anger and very wary of the young vampire, Seras could see how worn and weathered her face was, no longer flawless with youth. Her eyes, creased at the corners with wrinkles were narrowed, much like they always used to be but it was the way the Hellsing looked at her that made Seras wonder. It seemed crazy but; does Integra know who Seras was? Or has she forgotten?

Before Seras could ponder further, Walter broke her thoughts, trying to calm Integra down and lower her frying pan/weapon.

"Sir Integra." Walter said again, now finally able to breathe normally. "That is no burglar. She is your employee. Now put the frying pan down."

Integra looked confused and did not, in fact, lower the pan. Instead she held it higher. "Nonsense! I've never seen her bef—" She paused, looking startled, as if she had just woken up from a dream. Integra looked at the pan in her hand, then at Seras and finally at Walter, who had gotten up and tentatively reached out for her. Then Integra stared back at Seras again and this time, the blonde vampire saw the flash of recognition in her cold blue eyes.

"Seras?"

The rest of the scene unraveled exactly like Seras thought it would. Integra had chewed her out for leaving without permission, patted Walter on the shoulder and told him she was going back to bed while sending Seras a scathing look. Yet the vampire could see the glint in her blue eyes that told Seras that somehow Integra was still glad to see she was back home.

After the Hellsing woman had left, Seras turned her scarlet gaze to Walter and needed only raise a brow. The rest was unsaid but very much clear. The old butler sighed and patted the back of one of the chairs. "Sit down Seras." He said his voice weary, tired and solemn as if he had been caring a great burden on his shoulders.

She obeyed and he explained everything. Seras thought it felt like hours after Walter had told her. It felt like someone had slammed her full force into the gut and stuck a blessed blade through her throat. Yes, she did experience the same pain, shock and fear when she had been attacked by that mad priest. Dawn was fast approaching then and Seras proceeded to her own room and was mildly relieved that her coffin was still there. But the comfort and slight claustrophobic feeling of her old bed was pushed aside when she replayed the evening's events in her mind. Then she curled up into a ball and wept.

Seras held on to the weeping woman tightly. Since that night she had come back, they had gone through the exact same scenarios like this one, each getting worse and worse. At first, she refused to believe it then she denied it. Even after meeting Dr. Macey and have him explain the seriousness of Integra's condition made her believe it less and less. _God no, _Seras remembered praying to herself often, _please not her. Why her?_

It didn't take long for Dr. Macey and Walter to show up at the shed, where they found Sir Integra in Seras's tight embrace. There were bloody tears streaming down her cheeks, marring her perfect white skin with lines of watery red streaks.

"It's ok, it's alright." Seras whispered frantically into Integra's ear. The blonde woman's body was shaking.

"Don't let them take me" Was Integra's fear-filled reply and she clutched to her uniform like a crawling vine on the side of a mansion. Seras kissed Integra's forehead softly and nodded. Her heart breaking for the millionth time. She saw the young doctor move towards her to try and take Integra away but Seras let out a feral hiss as a warning. She bared her teeth, fangs and all. "No!" She growled her voice low and rasping. "I will take her."

The vampire then gathered up the Hellsing leader in her arms, Integra wrapping her arms around Seras's neck, and the vampire carried her bridal-style out of the shed, pushing past the gawking soldiers and the baffled look of the doctor and the understanding eyes of Walter. She then proceeded to open a black portal and stepped into it while whispered words of comfort to the Hellsing blonde.

Watching the vampire blonde disappear, Walter sighed. He placed a hand on Macey's strong shoulder and shook his head. "Come," he said to the doctor, still staring baffled at where the young girl vampire had been. "Let's meet her in Integra's room."

"Aha."

Walter and the young doctor arrived shortly in Integra's room, only to witness Seras slowly laying out the Hellsing onto her bed. the old butler stood behind the ex-fledgling as she managed to pry both arms from her neck and tuck Integra under the sheets.

"Thank you for staying with her, Victoria."

"You know I would do anything for Sir Integra, Walter." Seras replied softly, her red eyes still on Integra's now sleeping form. The poor thing had been exhausted from all the confusion. The the vampire turned to face Walter and the doctor. "She had saved my life too many times to count, I was too foolish and too young to see how much sacrifice she had put into keeping me here. The least I can do is offer her comfort and protection the way others here cannot. She deserves that much. she is like a sister and a mother to me." Her voice was steady but Walter's eagle eyes didn't miss the slight quiver of her lip or the watery look in her eyes. He also noticed she was not staring at him while she spoke but at the young human doctor. Of course he did not know the history these two women shared. She was explaining it to him. So Walter turned his head to look at Dr. Macey.

"I understand." Dr. Macey said with a slow nod. Seras returned the nod and with a blink of an eye, she was gone from the room.


	4. Last Goodbye

A/N: for the delay my apologies. I have just recently moved from one continent to another and I still haven't settled in. chapters for my other stories; Darkest Hour, and Mommy Seras And Daddy Alucard will be up very soon. I am still working on them and since my old laptop had decided to die completely and take all my previously finished chapters to its' grave I have to start all over again, which I can tell you is not really a pleasant thing for me and my mind right now. But I have managed to upload this chapter and I'm hoping along with the res of you that this means I am slowly getting back on track ^_^ enjoy this incredibly angsty story. the reason it's so morbid and depressing is a result of my grandfather (who had been a huge and major influence on my creativity and my upbringing, he was like a second father to me) passing away and because I was tired for once of writing cheerful happy happy stories. In these kind of stories, we tend to forget that most of the cast is human and yet we make them seem invincible and untouchable just like Seras and Alucard. Well I say enough to cliche of someone always swooping to save the day, let's give crying and tears a try.

Disclaimer: I clearly do not own Hellsing or any of its' characters. If I did we'd all be vampires by now ^_^

* * *

Her chest was slowly rising and falling. Her hair was spread over the pillows, like silver moonlight on clouds. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted, her breathing low and peaceful. The room was dark. The curtains blocked out the shining rays of the waning moon outside. There wasn't a sound, everything was still. There was no wind fluttering playfully with the light curtains, there was no sweet chirping from the crickets outside. There was no sound, like it was sucked out of the world. There was only quiet.

The world stood still because he willed it so.

"Countess." A voice hissed softly in her mind. Integra's lips pursed but she did not open her eyes. "My sweet countess." The voice purred again. A tendril of hair tickled her cheek and before she could move it herself, she felt fingertips, light as air brush it aside. They lingered, caressing her cheek and they fluttered towards her lips-

Integra sat up with a jolt, wide-eyed and panting. She looked around the dark room. It was quiet and empty. Wait, there is someone, there in the corner!

She opened her mouth to scream but a hand quickly covered it.

"Sir Integra! Sir Integra! Shhh, it's only me. It's Walter."

That voice, that name, it soothed her for some reason. Something in her mind, in her soul, was saying 'trust him' and she did. She closed her mouth and glanced at the old man beside her. He looked rather worried. The black receding hair, the dark, all-knowing eyes; everything was so strange and yet so familiar. She wanted to say something but…. What was it she wanted to do?

Her eyes narrowed as she strained to remember something. The man, Walter, merely stroked her hair and put her head against his chest.

"It's alright, sir. Don't try to remember. It's okay." He told her, his voiced washed over her like a soothing medicine. It relaxed her. Why had she woken up again?

"Sleep, Integra." She heard him say as he helped her lay back down. "I will be here when you wake."

Those words alone lulled her back to sleep. She could keep her eyes open no longer and with a smile at this elderly man beside her, she finally closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.

"My beloved Countess."

Integra opened her eyes. There was nothing around but darkness. It was pitch black. She timidly pulled back her covers and placed her feet on, well, something. Once she got out of the bed, it disappeared, like it never existed in the first place.

"Countess." It was that voice again. It was like honey, she savored the sound of it, and how it heated her skin and made her blood run faster through her veins. Her heart beat louder and faster and her breathing sped up.

Dazed, she tried peering through this blackness but it was thicker and darker than ink. So she just stood there, feeling things she never felt before and trying to make sense of what was happening. Where was she, who was she? What was happening?

Then, it was like she got electrified. The sensation ran over her skin, raising every single fine hair on her body. She shivered as the jolt rushed down her spine. It was all because of the fingertips that touched her cheek. They softly caressed her cheek and her jawline, moving down to her neck. Integra turned on her heel, intending to catch whoever it was in the act. But, there was no one behind her. And the fingertips were still there, still petting her neck. Then she felt both hands join in, moving over her neck and shoulders with feather-light touches, it made her shake and shiver and sigh sweetly.

"Sweet countess." The voice purred in her ear and Integra jumped. Then she heard the voice chuckle. "Always so jumpy around me."

"Wh-who are y-you?" Integra stuttered, trying to block out the fear slowly filling her mind and the pleasure quickly stoking her body. Arms encircled around her waist and she was pulled back against a body. A lean, muscular body. A male body.

"Your mind has been tainted by darkness, my lovely countess." The voice said. It was also male. Deep and baritone, it was like smooth velvet. It made her want to do things, it made her think things. Bad things. Naughty things.

"It is quite a shame. Your mind has become so weak I don't have to even try to get in." He continued, sighing thoughtfully and yet vaguely bored. "I am a little disappointed."

"Wha- Wait, who are you?"

"I am your Prince, your warrior. Your knight in shining armor." He replied with an awful, cynical laugh.

"I am someone you will always remember even as you forget everything else." And as he said this, as she let his voice, so seductive and sultry, wash over her like cool waves lapping at the shore, she suddenly saw a woman standing not far from her. She was dressed in a crisp business suit, with a stern look about her. Her blue eyes would be beautiful if they weren't so stone-cold. Her mouth was set in a frown, like she was dissatisfied with life, with everything because it did not work how she wanted it to. Her platinum blonde hair shone and came up to her knees. On her hip was a sword in a scabbard, an elegant English rapier it looked like, judging from the handle. The woman looked so commanding, so regal.

And on his one knee was a man. He was bowing before her. He had a red trench coat on that was the color of fresh blood and a matching fedora hat on his head. His hair reached a little past and was as black as this void she was in and it seemed to billow about him, playing with some non-existent wind. It seemed wild and unruly and almost like it had a life of its own. His red cravat gently danced with the same invisible wind.

The woman spoke, glaring down at this man with cold, mean eyes. "Alucard."

Integra gasped when she realized she had whispered the name along with the woman and their voices were identical. Was that her?

"My dear Master Integra." He chuckled into her ear once more. "You look as if you have seen a ghost." His tone was taunting, childish.

"Alucard, do not patronize me." She told him with a scathing look in her eyes. At that moment, she saw triumph in his red eyes and the endless pit of darkness lifted.

Everything slammed back into her. Memories, voices, faces, things she could and couldn't do. Her wants, needs and fears. Her life. It was all pouring back into her and it had knocked the Hellsing blonde off her feet. She would have fallen if it weren't for the two strong arms that caught her in the fall. Integra was now again pushed against Alucard's body in a semi-intimate hug. His arms held her around her waist and it felt something between a lover's embrace and one of a dear friend.

She turned around to tell him off for touching her in such an inappropriate manner but along with her memories, came the last few years of her life. The doctor's appointments, the treatments and how she slowly forgot who everyone was, how the darkness drowned out their faces and made her forget. That's when she stopped. Integra looked up at Alucard's face and saw the seriousness in his set mouth and in his ruby irises. When had she seen him look so grave? Never, she told herself.

"I have Alzheimer's, don't I?" Integra whispered, dropping her gaze down to stare at his red cravat.

"You do." His deep voice answered her and it was like a stab in the heart.

Integra sucked in her breath and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she spoke. "I am at the last stage of it, aren't I?"

"…" Alucard's silence was answer enough. Integra's hands gripped the front of his coat and she buried her face in it. It wasn't something she would normally do. Hell, she would probably be shooting the vampire idiot's ass right now for even holding her like this. But that's just it, she couldn't yell at him, not now, not anymore. She was sick, she was dying. She had lost something that was even more precious than her virginity; her memories.

Now was not the time for her to act stony and bitchy. Now was not the time to act strong and independent. She was scared. For the first time in a long, long while she was terrified. She hadn't felt the fear gripping at her heart like this since she was 13 years old.

It took the Hellsing a while to realize that she was actually crying softly into the folds of Alucard's coat.

"My countess is capable of crying? Hell is freezing over as we speak."

Integra opened her mouth to reprimand him but out came a sob instead and she couldn't hold it in any longer. Everything was spinning around her, it made her dizzy. The vampires, the soldiers, Walter, Police Girl; what will happen with them? What about Alucard? The Lord knows he cannot go without Hellsing blood to bind him, he would wreak havoc and rampage over London. It was like her entire being was falling to pieces. She was so lost.

"I don't want to forget." She whispered into his chest and felt his hand pet her hair gently. "That's why I've made you remember." Alucard whispered back, not sounding condescending or arrogant. He, in fact, sounded very disappointed, like he was losing his playmate.

Integra wanted to cry, it was too much to take in. But she wouldn`t let herself go so far. "It won't last though, will it?"

"Always quick to catch on, Master Integra." He smirked at her. But then even his smile faltered, he looked solemn and grave. But Integra's trained eyes saw a hint of sadness in those guarded ruby irises of his.

"Am I about to die, Alucard?"

"Yes."

To his mild surprise, Integra smiled and he was taken aback at how suddenly she looked more beautiful than the heavenly angels. Her blue eyes were no longer cold or stern or silently spearing him with invisible daggers. No, they were wide and full of fear but they were also full of gratitude.

Alucard was not capable of love, he lost that ability long ago. But his admiration for her as a human knew no bounds. To him, that was stronger than love, stronger than lust or passion. He raised his hand and stroked her hair, caressing each tendril with great amounts of care, as if each one was made of brittle glass and would break. They stayed in each other's arms for what seemed like eternity. Integra's life and memories played out before them as if they were standing in the middle of every day she could remember, from the day she was born to the very moment she was put back to bed by Walter.

Everything was sped up. People zoomed about them like ghosts; transparent children played in a school courtyard, piano lessons played maniacally by both Integra as a child and her teacher; Integra reading in her family's library, Integra attending a finishing school. Already in teenage years, a young Integra bobbed and zipped around them, whacking and jabbing madly at her fencing instructor.

As these memories flew about them, Alucard kissed the Hellsing's forehead and then placed his own against it.

"You know I can end this pain and suffering, Integra." Alucard murmured softly, still caressing her cheek. He felt her nodding and she tensed in his arms. "I know."

He lifted her face away from his coat so that she could look into his eyes. Holding her chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, he softly rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb. "Come with me, my beloved Countess. Your memories will stay, you will be healed. The taint in your mind will be abolished." His voice was gentle and low, he spoke in such a way only lost lovers would. She shivered and cast her eyes down once more.

Her own tone did not sound like his, she was more firm, more commanding, much like she used to be. "You know my answer Alucard. I have not forgotten what I always say to your offer."

The vampire sucked in his breath. "You deserve better!" He said with an angry hiss. It earned him a familiar cold glare from his Master.

"I also deserve to choose." She told him, her mouth set in her customary frown. Integra disentangled herself from Alucard's inviting and warm arms and heard him growl.

"Bullshit! You mean to say you rather choose to live out your last breath surrounded by people you have forgotten?" He did not yell but his voice was dripping with rage and disdain as he gestured to the living astral projections of her memories. Integra watched for a while as she saw Walter dragging her to the doctor's. That must have been the day she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She watched silently as the doctor left her inside the examination room and spoke with Walter. The look on her trusted friend's face broke her heart to a million pieces. He had fumbled back clumsily into a chair and started to sob.

Tears had filled her eyes; it was something she had not expected. So the Hellsing blonde turned to the looming immortal and shook her head. "I am human, Alucard. Nothing will change that."

His eyes flashed hurt and pain; he looked as if he had been betrayed for a moment. But that was quickly overshadowed by his anger and the hurt was replaced with fury. Alucard grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back into his arms, wrapping them around her shoulders and head. "I will not let you die. You are mine."

It could have been her imagination but underneath all that fury, she detected loneliness. Integra smiled into his chest and put her own arms around him, hugging him back.

"I am not to be claimed, Alucard." She spoke softly, nuzzling his chest. "And you know so. If it is my time to die then I shall embrace it with a heart void of fear."

There was a pause, a moment of silence. Then Integra felt his chest rumble as Alucard chuckled deeply. "There you are, Countess."

This baffled her and Integra looked up at him with one brow raised in skeptical question. But Alucard merely flashed a fanged grin. "For a moment, I thought you had lost that spark that I like so much."

"Alucard, you asshole." But she couldn't hide her own smile.

"Flattered as always." He replied silkily. He raised his hand to brush the little strands of hair tickling her cheeks. He tucked them gently behind her ear as he spoke. "I cannot force you to choose my path. I also cannot keep this up any longer."

"Alucard…." Integra spoke quickly and then averted her eyes to the flowing memories. She watched as Seras held her in a garden shed, stroking her hair and whispering something softly into her ear. Then the Hellsing redirected her gaze back at Alucard. "Thank you for letting me remember."

Another one of his cocky, fanged grins graced his handsome features. "You can forget everyone else but I will not allow you to forget about me, my sweet, innocent Countess." And he raised her hand to his face and his lips lightly danced over her knuckles. His smirk was playful and Integra rolled her eyes at him. Then with a sweeping bow and a swirl of his long coat, Alucard was gone and darkness overtook her again.

Integra sat up in her bed with a start, panting and wide-eyed, with a gasp-like scream wrenching from her throat. That old man was by her side once more, patting her back and shoulder reassuringly. "I am here, sir. I am here."

It was so strange. She remembered dreaming but, who was this old man beside her? Where was she? So tired, she felt so tired. She wanted to run but her legs wouldn't move. Nothing would listen. Somewhere deep in her mind, something told her to go back to sleep, that she was safe here.

Walter watched as Sir Integra went to sleep once more. He made sure the blankets were tucked to her chin, so she wouldn't be cold. A knock resounded at the door, as soft and nimble as the feet of mice, but he heard it nonetheless.

"Come in." He said in a gentle voice. Seras strode in, tiptoeing over to the old butler. She placed an understanding hand on his shoulder and he put his hand over hers and squeezed it gently, thanking her without words for the comfort she was trying to give him.

"I'll take over Walter." She whispered, nodding over to the sleeping form of Integra. Walter paused a little and then reluctantly nodded and without a word he left the room.

"I know you're there, Alucard." She told the darkness near the windows. The curtains suddenly fluttered and out from the shadows stepped Alucard. He was not wearing his coat, hat or sunglasses, nor was he smiling his usual smile. Silently, he just pulled up a chair and sat next to Seras. The blonde vampire understood better than anything. She knew the feeling all too well. Integra was his Master after all.

It would have been a beautiful day if it weren't for the clouds blocking the sun. But as it seems, even the weather had a little compassion, blotting out the sun so that even the undead vampire slayers could attend the sad event. Well, one of them at least.

Alucard just sat in that high-backed throne chair, swirling the blood in the wine goblet in his hand.

_"God our Father,  
Your power brings us to birth,  
Your providence guides our lives,  
and by Your command we return to dust."_

The bored, drone-like voice of some two-bit, weak-minded human priest reading the prayer carried even through the walls into his own room. His free hand was clenched into a fist; the fabric of the glove was creaking under the pressure.

_"Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,  
their lives change but do not end.  
I pray in hope for my family,  
relatives and friends,  
and for all the dead known to You alone."_

The words were like stones being dropped into his undead heart. It was a nuisance, much like Police Girl was in her first years as a fledgling. He could hear them so clearly, as if he was standing there himself, staring at the open grave beneath his feet and that ghastly coffin where her body was laid in.

_"In company with Christ…"_

She wasn't supposed to die.

_"Who died and now lives,  
may they rejoice in Your kingdom…"_

Why didn't she accept his offer? He squeezed his eyes shut. The swirling of the blood in the goblet grew faster as the elder vampire became more agitated. The priest's horrid voice droned on, speaking without emotion, without feeling whatsoever.

He just felt like snapping the little shit's neck.

_"To sing Your praise forever and ever."_

Alucard gritted his teeth and snorted angrily. It took all his self-control not to go up there and rip the fuck-face's head off his neck. He was so irritating! The raven-haired vampire stopped swirling the blood in his goblet just for a moment and waited.

_"Amen."_

At the same moment the priest had spoken that word, the vampire had crushed the goblet in his hand. Blood now drenched his glove, dripping from his fingertips onto the floor in a steady rhythm. Then he heard the thud of the coffin being dropped into the earth. A pain ripped through his chest that sizzled through his entire body. Pain zipped through every nerve possible. That was when he realized he was breathing heavily. His cheeks felt wet. Alucard raised his unsoiled hand and placed it on his cheeks to see why they felt so wet.

He looked down at the glove and saw blood. He was crying.

And despite himself, he couldn't help but laugh. If Police girl saw him now, he would never hear the end of it.

* * *

And that concludes 'Forgotten'. Lame ending I know but it kinda fits. Now I realize I made Integra sound a little bit like a wuss (well that's just my opinion but meh, whatever) but she can't stay all macho and shit even as she has Alzheimer's i mean come on, she is a **woman** for crying out loud, even she has to feel some kind of emotion! I actually detest women who throw away their feminine side like she does, it's almost like they're ashamed to be female. Before I start ranting, I will bid you all farewell. I need to work on my other stories lol.

_A little side note_. I mean no disrespect when I say I do not like women who throw away their femininity. All I meant was, if a woman is ever put into such a dreadful position where she would have to put on a farce by shunning her feminine side and pretending to be a man then there is no point in being female. Women now are in powerful positions all over the world, just like Interga's (give or take a vampire or two) But they can still embrace the fact that they have boobs and lovely legs and are beautiful inside and out and just the fact alone that they have achieved more because they are of the opposite sex, that`s reason alone to be proud of being a woman. That is something that men cannot possess, not completely. That is what makes women more special, more powerful. It's accepting yourself for who and what you are and not letting other people dictate what you can and cannot do just because of gender.

Integra is a cold-hearted bitch and she has every right to be, I understand that. She needs to be the leader of a powerful and mostly male-dominating organization, I know that too. But I do not like the way she dresses, to me it means she is ashamed of being a woman because she is under the impression no one will take her seriously. This should never be the case. She should be proud to be the one protecting England from undead threats because she is a woman, she should be proud that because she is such an Ice Queen everyone would dare not cross her and she should be proud overall because in that world where males dominate, she is at the very top of the ladder because she is a _woman _and she shouldn`t hide this fact behind male business suits.

That`s what I meant. Anyway, this is an anime so none of these people exist. I respect everyone`s opinions and if any of you would like to debate on this topic with me just for fun, I invite you to pm me :) It`s a good topic and it would be great to hear other opinions on such a matter

Whether or not you agree with me, it doesn't matter. This is just my opinion and I would like to thank one of my reviewers for bringing up this topic. As I said before, if anyone got offended by this, I truly apologize, this wasn`t my intention.

Please, review this story for the story and not for my opinion :) Thank you.


End file.
